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Divorce Mediation or Litigation: Emotions are Costly

All divorce professionals, in mediation or litigation, know that parties going through divorce can be a bundle or raw nerves and emotions.  Dealing with those emotions can be very costly to a party.  Fears about the future, sadness, anger, depression and a sense of loss are emotions that can be used by a divorce professional to transform a divorce into a high conflict divorce costing tens of thousands of dollars.  Divorces, fueled by a party's emotions, can dissipate the parties' assets quickly and be very costly.  http://www.forbes.com/2006/11/07/divorce-costs-legal-biz-cx_lh_1107legaldivorce.html

Mediation is less expensive than a litigated or contested divorce.  It also allows the parties to work with a neutral unbiased professional, who helps the parties negotiate solutions for the future.  The advantages of mediation is that it allows the parties to meet with a neutral party like Steven Hirsch and express their fears and concerns. The parties prepare budgets and learn what they need to financialy move forward.  Parties sitting with a mediator are better at making child custody plans than two lawyers or a Judge making that decision.

Whether proceeding with Rhode Island Divorce Mediation or or litigating a separation or Rhode Island divorce, parties should take the following suggestions  on their emotional status during the divorce process:

Watch the stories that you tell yourself or others, such as "I will be homeless" or "I will never find another partner as good as she".  This just fans the emotional flames and rarely ever is true.

Manage, but do not bury, your emotions.  Use your emotions constructively but do not let them interfere at the times you need to be focused (at work, with your kids, and during negotiations).  As an experienced divorce mediator, Steve Hirsch knows that pent up emotions can interfere with a party's ability to reach a settlement.  He understands that at certain times he needs to allow a party to vent his or her complaints, fears or other emotions in order to move forward.

Do not listen to the people around you who tell you what they think you want to hear.  Parties seeking revenge, or withholding their children to punish the other party will spend thousands in fees and rarely find satisfaction.  A good therapist can help work with the stress and emotions during the time of change.

Smart consumers facing divorce should learn as much as they can about their assets, debts and finances.  Getting copies of all statements and tax returns, and preparing a budget is very important as a tool to guide one to future financial decisions. 

Steve Hirsch is ready to work with one or both parties to become educated and make better decisions for the future.

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Law Office of Steven J. Hirsch, Esq

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100 Jefferson Boulevard Suite 315 Warwick, RI 02888 Phone: 401-287-2079 Fax: 401-352-0029 Warwick Law Office Map

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