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Defining and Redefining Your Core Identity During Divorce

I know that in a divorce, I can help you define and achieve your goals.

If I were sitting next to you at a bar or met you at a friend's party and asked you "What do you do?" what would be your answer? Quick, what is your answer?

Usually, your quick answer is based upon your core identity. Until I gave this issue a lot of thought, my answer would have been "I am a lawyer and divorce mediator". Is your core identity defined by your vocation or employment? Do you have more than one core identity?

I have witnessed many people who lost jobs due to injuries or corporate downsizing. They feel a loss of their core identity, often leading to deep sadness and reduced concentration.

I also believe that we may identify our core identities differently as we go through critical crossroads in our lives. Many married people, whether they work or not, also see their core identity as being a spouse and/or a parent.

When faced with breakup/divorce and a new sharing of the time and caring for children, many people feel that their core identity is being slashed away from them, often leading to sadness and decreased functioning. They feel robbed of their future and identity.

Some people can adjust easily, focusing on their other core identities; others retain their identity as a parent and gain the realization that a new identity emerges - that of a single person with new potentials.

How you work through the loss and change of identity can affect your divorce and how you define your goals. Some do it quickly and easily while others require more time and counseling with a trained therapist. There is no right or wrong way. As a Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer and Divorce Mediator, I understand that each person comes in as an individual with different needs and concerns. Let us work with you to map out your goals as you transition to the new you.

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Law Office of Steven J. Hirsch, Esq

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