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What Children Learn from Observing Parents During Divorce.

I understand that people going through a divorce are stressed an pushed to their emotional limits at times.  Often, words are spoken or actions taken without considering their true effect.  I have heard the following in meetings with people ready to start a divorce, as they go through one, and even after the divorce is final:

  • Even though we fight alot and do nothing together, I think we should stay together for the kid's benefit.
  • My spouse calls me from the car, when the kids are in their car seats, and she swears at me and complains about money and my new spouse.  And I know the kids hear every word.
  • My spouse and I argue every time the kids are exchanged.  It usually gets prettty ugly.  They hear it all.
  • My kids saw me throw all of my spouse's clothes on the front lawn.
  • Even though the kids are in their rooms, they hear our arguments and the slamming of pots and pans and then slammed doors and crying.
  • My former spouse drinks 3 or 4 glasses of wine every night in front of my teenagers.
  • My former spouse has brought four new lovers into the house for sleepovers when my children are present.

Read these lines heard by me in my role as a divorce attorney and mediator again after you watch the following video from Child Friendly, Australia:

Mediation is a form of alternate dispute resolution aimed at reducing conflict and working with parties to find answers and resolution in a quicker and less expensive manner.  

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