A rarely used option in child custody arrangements is "Nesting". When divorcing and co-parenting, the parties decide to each reside in a new residence and keep the children in the former marital home. Instead of the children going from Mom's home to Dad's home, the children remain in the home while the Mom and Dad go back and forth into the former home.
When discussing parenting plans with divorcing parties, I often wonder what is the motivation behind their wants and the posturing that goes on. Some parties want the kids the majority of the time to satisfy their ego that he/she is the better parent. Some want to restrict the other's time with the children as punishment. Some want equal time to reduce child support. And yes, some want equal time with the children for both parents as they perceive that the children are entitled to have both parents as very interested parties in their lives. They go into the negotiations considering what is best for their children.
Rhode Island residents realize that divorce can be a very challenging time. Divorce not only affects the spouses involved, but the children as well. The ability to help children through a divorce may serve a dual purpose in also assisting the parents to get through the transition.
A divorce client called me for advice based upon dynamics of the ongoing divorce mediation. She said that the mediator, having prepared an initial draft of a Memorandum of Understanding, did not want to revise it based upon a recent development. The incident that caused the client to call was that the husband finalized plans for the kids to attend summer camp for 4 weeks and told the kids about it without discussing the same with the mother. Camp time interfered with her time with the children and she wanted input into the identity of the camp that the children would attend for the first time. The mediator suggested that the lawyers make the modification. Should she leave mediation and ask the lawyer to resolve that issue?
Life-changing events can be difficult and emotionally taxing on individuals and families. Many Kent-area residents realize that a divorce can be one of those difficult changes as it has a direct effect on close relationships. However, by following certain guidelines and steps, divorce does not have to be a difficult process for the couple or the children.
The question of whether or not to allow a Rhode Island Relocation of a child to another state involves serious issues for the parties, lawyers and the Court. Each case is distinct, and may become expensive considering the potential need for a Guardian Ad Litem for the child, psychological evaluations and expert testimony.
Mediation of a divorce or other dispute can achieve results that seemed impossible to the disputing parties. Great mediators, being impartial, bring open minds, experience and patience to the quarrels large and small. This story, taken from William Ury, an author of "Getting to Yes" wonderfully demonstrates the promise of mediation:
Male residents of Rhode Island will be interested to learn that there is a new crop of divorce attorneys emerging that are gearing their services to men. These "divorce lawyers for men" do all the same things as normal divorce lawyers. They help sort out issues such as property division, custody plans, alimony and child support. The difference is that they market to men who are afraid of getting a bad deal in their divorce.